Glass Waltz
by blacknotebook
Summary: its the kids senoir year, and Helga can't take the secrecy anymore. However, Arnold has a girlfriend, and Helga thinks that the only way to end her pain is to do the unthinkable. She's gonna jump.


                                                                    Glass Waltz  
  
   
  
          Disclaimer: I don't own Hey Arnold! Never have, never will. Craig Bartlett does. But if I did own Hey Arnold! I would be the best Craig Bartlett ever! *watches as men in white medical suits approach* "Muah hah hah hah hah"(evil laugh) *men wrap me in a straightjacket and carry me away* Well I'm back! On with the story  
  
I forgot: I don't own "Glass Waltz" either. It's a Vertical Horizon song so whoever wrote it does. (I'm a die-hard VH fan)  
  
   
  
            Helga walked up to the door of Johnson High School. It's been 8 years since the kids were in 4th grade and things have changed. Helga finally plucked the hideous unibrow and has increased her wardrobe. This particular day she was wearing jeans and a sweatshirt. She sat down on the steps leading up to the doors. She started doing her history homework when a shadow blocks the light.  
  
"Hey Helga." Says Arnold and he sat down. "What's going on?" Helga and Arnold had become great friends over the years. Helga had stopped bullying Arnold after 7th grade when she saw him kiss Lila. One would think she would have stopped loving him but she realized she was never going to have him if she kept acting like that. Once Arnold saw how Helga had changed, he started talking to her.  
  
Helga also started dating. She had gone out with a few guys, none lasted more than 2 weeks. She never kissed one of them either. For people looking in, it looked like she was a regular high schooler, dating lots of guys. But Helga knew it was because she wanted to get over Arnold. She was still obsessed with him ever since preschool. Helga had told herself many times that she was pathetic but she could never convince herself that it was hopeless.  
  
"Oh, hey Arnold. I'm just finishing the essay for history."  
  
"Cool, but you might want to finish that in homeroom. The bell's gonna ring." Arnold said and he turned to go inside.  
  
"Oh crap!" said Helga and she ran to catch up. They were both in the same home room along with Phoebe and Gerald. They grabbed seats near the back of the room and sat next to their best friends. Gerald and Phoebe have been going out for about 1 year now, ever since their junior prom. Their homeroom teacher lectured on about something while Helga did her homework and Arnold and Gerald talked about football. Arnold was the quarter back for the varsity team and Gerald was running back. Arnold had become quite handsome over the years. He was the aim of all the girls in the senior class.  
  
"Helga, we have to go to history now." Helga looked up to see Phoebe.  
  
"Thanks Pheebs." And they went to class. The whole group was in the class. Everyone from 4th grade at P.S.118. Also a few new faces. There was Eric, one of Helgas' good friends, a sort of rebel. There was also Kristen, one of Helga's worst enemies, only because she was dating Arnold at the moment.  
  
"Okay class pass up your essays." Said Mr. Emmitt.  
  
   
  
Helga passed up her unfinished essay. Phoebe looked at it. "Helga, you didn't finish?! But this is one of your best classes." Helga looked at her.  
  
"I've had a lot on my mind Pheebs." Phoebe looked troubled like she knew what these certain things might be. Helga just dozed off into dreamland again. She saw Kristen lean over to Arnold and whisper something in his ear. He blushed and said something back to her. All of these small gestures were likes knives in Helga's heart.  
  
"Ignore it," she told herself. "You can't have him so get over it." But she knew that that was impossible. She was so hopelessly in love that there was no cure.  
  
Later on, at lunch, Arnold and Kristen had gone off campus and Phoebe was studying in the library with Gerald so Helga was all alone. Eric came over to her.  
  
"Hey Helga, how's it goin?" Eric was the only person Helga had told about her love for Arnold besides Phoebe.  
  
"Oh, hi Eric. You know how it is. Just can't get Arnold off my brain." She smiled weakly.  
  
"That again, huh?" He gave her an encouraging grin. "You'll get him Helga. Anyway, I have to go to meet someone, I'll see you later." Helga blanked out after he left and she started playing memories in her head. She saw Arnold on the first day of 8th grade, waving at her from across the hall. She remembered the look on his face when he won his first football game. She saw him dancing with Kristen at homecoming, just a few months ago. That was the most painful of them all because he looked so happy.  
  
She went through the day like this, just daydreaming.  
  
She went home to Bob yelling at the TV. And Miriam leaning over the counter, smoothie in hand. She went up to her room, no word of welcome from either of her parents. Olga was off at college, she goes to M.I.T. Helga went to her closet. She didn't have the shrine anymore. She had a collage of pictures making up Arnolds head. She also had a collection of small books, ranging in color from pink to black. She took out a red one. She thought for a moment, then started writing.  
  
My one true love,  
  
My hearts desire  
  
My souls companion  
  
My souls fire.  
  
I look to you every day  
  
You say hello and good day  
  
How I wish for more  
  
To hold you tight  
  
To call you mine  
  
To confess to you my admiration  
  
Would be my one last wish if I were to die tomorrow  
  
For you Arno-  
  
Helga stopped writing. She had promised herself never to write his name. She didn't know why, but she thought that it would help keep her feelings in check. She went to sleep that night wondering if she would ever hold Arnold as only lovers can hold one another. She went through a few more weeks like this, pining away for her ungotten love. It soon came to be close to the prom. No one had asked her, but she didn't mind. She didn't really want to go to the prom if she wasn't going with Arnold. At school Pheobe and Gerald were becoming inseparable. But any time away from Gerald was spent with Helga. Phoebe had noticed a change in her friend's behavior over the year and became very worried. One day at lunch, the friends were discussing what to do over the weekend. Arnold and Kristen were sitting at one side of the table, Pheobe and Gerald on the other. Helga sat down the table a ways and was lost in thought. Occasionally she would take out a red book and write in it. Only Pheobe noticed how strange Helga was behaving. Soon the gang decided to go into town on Saturday for dinner and a movie.  
  
 "We could go to Chez Pierre then go to see Midnights Secrets," proposed Kristen. Arnold internally blushed. He still hadn't forgotten Cecile or whoever she was. "Sounds good to me," said Pheobe.  
  
"Me too. Just one problem. I don't wanna see Midnights Secrets. That's a chic flick. We should see Revenge of Gavin part 2" said Gerald.  
  
"Yeah, that's better," said Arnold. The girls sounded their disgust at this idea. Then Pheobe remembered Helga.  
  
"Hey Helga! Do you wanna go out with us on Saturday?" Helga looked up.  
  
"That's okay Pheebs. You guys don't want me hanging around.'  
  
"Come on Helga, It'll be fun. I want you to come." Said Arnold.  
  
Helga thought. "If Arnold wants me to come, I should go."  
  
"Okay. Why not? Mind if I bring a friend?' Helga thought, it'd look more natural. I could bring Eric. He'd probably like to come.  
  
"I'll go ask Eric. Later." Helga went off to find Eric. She found him in the library talking to a pretty brown haired girl. Eric saw Helga and said something to the girl. The girl walked away and Eric came over to Helga.  
  
Eric smiled, "So what do you want?"  
  
Helga said, "I need a favor. Arnold and the rest are going out on Saturday and I need a date. Would you mind?" Eric gave Helga a one-armed hug thing.  
  
"No problem. What are friends for?" Helga was so grateful she gave Eric one of her now rare smiles.  
  
"Thanks SO much. You are way cool." Helga thought, Eric is such a good friend. It feels like he's my best friend more than Phoebe now. On Saturday, Eric came and picked up Helga in his old red t-bird. Helga didn't bother telling her parents where she was going. She got in the car and he said,  
  
"Where to?"  
  
"Chez Pierre's."  
  
Eric chuckled, "That's a bit ironic isn't it?" Helga blushed.  
  
"Just drive." She said putting up her defensive barrier, which she still used sometimes.  
  
"Alright, alright. No need to get upset."  
  
They drove in silence for a few moments.  
  
"So who's she?"  
  
Eric looked at her. "Who?"  
  
"You know who. Library girl. I haven't seen her before."  
  
"Oh. Her name's Melissa. She just transferred here from the private high school. I'm helping her get around and stuff."  
  
"Very cool. You like her. I can tell."  
  
Eric looked surprised. "You could tell? I tried not to let it show. You know, my reputation and all."  
  
"Boy, I can see right through you. We've been friends since 9th grade. I know when you like someone. Please, give me credit."  
  
Eric leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "You always surprise me Helga. One minute you're in a daydreaming poetry state and the next your telling people things about themselves even they didn't know. That's what I love about you."  
  
Helga just sat there, listening him praise her and wishing it were by someone else.  
  
They pulled up to Chez Pierre. Eric gave the car to a valet and he escorted Helga up to the door. A French man behind a podium asked for their reservations.  
  
"I think it would be under Arnold…whats his last name Helga?"  
  
Helga thought and realized that she didn't even know his last name.  
  
"Uh...I don't know." Just then Arnold came up to them. Hey guys! Its alright monsieur they're with me"  
  
The waiter led them to a table that Helga recognized to be the one that she had eaten at under the disgiuse of Cecile. Everyone was already there. Helga sat next to Pheobe and Eric.  
  
"Hi Helga. I'm glad you came. Its kind of boring with just Kristen to talk to."  
  
"Thanks!" said Kristen in mock anger.  
  
Soon every one was talking and laughing. Their food came and everyone was eating. Once they were all done, Arnold said, "Well, I guess its off to the revenge of Gavin, huh Gerald?" with a smile.  
  
"Yeah I guess that's next on the list." Gerald replied with an equally playful tone.  
  
"No way! We are SO going to see Midnights Secrets!" chorused Kristen and Pheobe.  
  
"How bout you guys? What do you want to see?" Gerald asked Eric and Helga.  
  
Eric shrugged and mumbled, "whatever."  
  
"How about we see, John and Natalie. It's a horror and romance movie. It's supposed to be good." Said Helga.  
  
"Sure, why not." Replied the others.  
  
So they all got into their respected vehicles and drove to the cinema. When Helga and Eric went to buy their tickets, Eric paid for Helgas. She looked at him in surprise and he said,  
  
"I don't have enough money to buy my own food. Ill let you do that."  
  
Helga laughed out loud. They (or actually Helga) got the popcorn and pop and they went into the theatre. They found Arnold and Kristen already in the theatre, making out. Helga felt a sharp pan in her chest and it must have shown on her face because Eric led her to the other side of the theatre. Pheobe and Gerald soon came over and sat next to them.  
  
"Having fun phoebe," Helga asked after Pheobe had taken a break from kissing Gerald. Pheobe blushed slightly in the dark theatre.  
  
"Yeah, how bout you?"  
  
"Yeah, fun." Said Helga absently, her eyes drifting to where Arnold was sitting. Pheobe felt an overwhelming sense of pity for her friend. She had gotten Gerald right when she wanted him and Helga had pined away for her love for years. Life really wasn't fair Pheobe realized. No wonder Helga had been such a jerk when they were kids. She must have been going through a lot of pain and she is now, Pheobe realized. She suddenly knew what the people really meant when they said life isn't fair. Helga really needed someone and she had to suffer through watching him love another.  
  
            The movie started up and the couples settled into their seats. The movie was pretty good and Helga enjoyed the first half of it. It was about John, a good looking who inherits 2 million bucks from an unknown relative. Through the movie he tries to find out who it is, and people try to stop him. He also meets this cute girl, and they hit it off. During one of the love scenes, Helga had to go to the bathroom. She walked down the aisle and she passed where Arnold was sitting. She saw he was kissing Kristen and she closed her eyes to compose herself. She soon wished she had covered her ears as well. The couple pulled apart and she heard Arnold say,  
  
"I love you Kristen."  
  
Helga felt as though someone had put her heart under an anvil. She quickened her pace to the restroom. She glared at herself in the mirror.  
  
"Don't cry.' She told herself, "Don't you DARE cry."  
  
            She sat down on one of the chairs and thought.  She had always held a small shred of hope that Arnold would love her. It was a miniscule dream, but it was all she had. With those 3 words, he had shattered her entire world. She walked to the sink and splashed cold water on her face.  
  
            Meanwhile in the movie theatre Pheobe realized that Helga had been gone for a while. She went to the bathroom. She found Helga sitting still as a stone, tears streaming down her cheeks.  
  
"Oh my God Helga. Are you alright?"  
  
Helga laughed a short, quite laugh. It was the laugh of one who has nothing to laugh at.  
  
"That's a very interesting question. Rather ironic really. You see, I am the opposite of all right"  
  
The tears came again. Then Helga jumped up. She washed her face again and acted ashamed that Pheobe had seen Helga cry.  
  
"Helga, come on. You have to tell me. Its Arnold again isn't it?" Helga nodded.  
  
"He…Kristen…its over." Helga said in a faltering speech that ended in a sob.  
  
Pheobe didn't really know what to do so she put an arm around her and said,  
  
"I know how you feel, Helga."  
  
Helga spun around and faced Pheobe angrily.  
  
"You have NO IDEA how I feel. Do you know what its like to want something so bad you would sell your soul to have it? And then have to live with the knowledge that you will never get it. No. You don't know. And how could you. You and hair boy have always had each other."  
  
Pheobe looked shocked at this outburst of emotion.  
  
"Helga, why didn't you tell me? I'm your best friend. I would have helped."  
  
"When would I have told you Pheobe? When you were kissing Gerald or when you were at Honor Society meetings?"  
  
"I guess I haven't been a very good friend. Erics probably been there for you more." Helga jumped up.  
  
"I forgot about Eric. I should go back there." She dried her eyes and they went back and sat down. After the movie they went to the lobby. Arnold and Kristen were already there, talking for a change.  
  
"Hi guys. Sorry we didn't watch the movie with you." He grinned sheepishly.  
  
"No problem man." Said Gerald and they did the weird little thumb thing. Arnold looked at Helga who was standing a little ways away.  
  
"Did you like the movie Helga?" When she turned around to see him, he saw that her eyes were a little red and he wondered if she had been crying.  
  
"Sure Arnoldo it was fine." He flinched at the use of his old nickname and wondered at the anger in her voice. Eric came over and said, "Its probably time to go home Helga. See you later Arnold. Guys." And he led Helga to the car.  
  
"What happened Helga?" She looked at him. He knew that look. It was a 'leave me alone' look.  
  
"You need to talk about it Helga."  
  
"He loves her Eric. Arnold loves her."  
  
"I'm so sorry Helga. I can't imagine how bad you feel. Just know that I'm always here for you.' By this time they had come to Helga's house and she got out.  
  
"Thanks Eric."  
  
"For what?"  
  
"For being my friend." She went inside.  
  
"OLGA! Where have you been?"  
  
"God dad. I've been your daughter for 17 years. Get my name right! Its Helga in case you didn't remember."  
  
"Fine then HELGA! The garbage needs to go out and I need dinner."  
  
Helga scoffed, "Do it yourself!"  
  
"Young lady, you will do as I say. Take it out. NOW!"  
  
"I'm goin."  
  
After the garbage was out and Bobs microwave dinner was lukewarm Helga went upstairs. She went to her closet. She tore open the doors and stood there. Then Helga ripped the pictures off the wall and took the books and threw them in her trashcan.  
  
            Next day at school, Pheobe waited by Helga's locker so she could talk to her. Helga came but Pheobe got a surprise. Helga came up and said,   
  
"Move." No hello or anything. Just "Move."  
  
"Are you okay Helga? You don't really seem yourself."  
  
" I'm FINE! Just mind your own business. I gotta go."  
  
Phoebe was shocked. Helga had not been so like her old self for years. She had her moments but this was more than anything before. Pheobe went to homeroom and found Helga there, sitting with a glare on her face that made you think of a little fourth grade girl with a unibrow, frowning at the world. Pheobe again attempted conversation but was shot down again. No one else seemed to notice that Helga was acting differently besides Eric. But what surprised Pheobe most was that Helga talked to him. She couldn't hear what it was about, but could tell Helga wasn't using her bully voice with him.  
  
Pheobe got up to sharpen her pencil and oeverheard part of their conversation.  
  
"Eric, you cant stop me. I always head something to hold on to. I don't have that anymore. I don't need to stay here and take it."  
  
"Helga, please. Listen to me."  
  
"Eric, just shu- Pheobe! What are you doing. Didn't anyone ever tell you not to eavsdrop."  
  
"Helga, Im your best friend. Tell me whats going on."  
  
"Pheobe, Eric, just go away." Helga said in a tired voice.  
  
The teacher started talking again so Pheobe had to sit down. She didn't get another chance to talk to Helga again until lunch. When she found Helga, she was talking to Arnold.  
  
"Hey Hega, hows it going?"  
  
"Fine football head. Just FINE!"  
  
"Why are you mad at me Helga, did I do something?"  
  
"Just shut up!Why don't you go talk to Kristen? Im sure she'd like your company."  
  
Helga walked away and Pheobe followed her. Arnold just stood there confused.  
  
"Helga, Arnold didn't do anything to you. He doest know. You cant blame him."  
  
"Go make out with Gerald or something Pheobe. I don't need you."  
  
Pheobe stepped back, hurt. Helga didn't see her because she was blinded by the anger and pain she was feeling. Pheobe didn't talk to Helga for the rest day. Later that night, Pheobe called Helgas house. Big Bob answer.  
  
"What do you want?"  
  
"Hello, Id like to talk to Helga."  
  
"Hey Helga! Get your butt down here to the phone!"  
  
"Im comin!"  
  
"Hi Helga."  
  
"click"  
  
Helga hung up the phone. Pheobe was shocked. She knew Helga was mad, but why at her? She was confused.  
  
Next day at school, Helga voided Pheobe. Arnold went to talk to Helga.  
  
"Helga why were you mad at me?"  
  
"I wasn't mad at you football head. I am mad at you." And with that she pushed past him. Arnold called Eric after school to ask him.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
'Hi Eric. Its Arnold."  
  
"Oh, hi."  
  
"Can you tell me why Helgas mad at me?"  
  
"I could but I wont. Helga should tell you herself."  
  
"Um… okay, bye."  
  
"Bye."  
  
On Wednesday, Kristen broke up with Arnold.  
  
"You were just moving to fast for me Arnold. I like you a lot, but I don't know if I love you. Maybe itll work out. Just not right now. Im sorry."  
  
Arnold was very upset, but realized, he didn't love her either. He was just trying to fill a gap he had felt all his life.  
  
Helga kept getting worse with her attitude. But Pheobe knew it was wearing Helga down. One day she saw Helga crying in the bathroom. On Friday, it seemed as though Helga wasn't all there. She didn't say anything, rude or nice to anyone all day. When school was over, Helga came over to Pheobe and gave her a hug.  
  
"Im sorry Pheobe. I just want you to know that and I think youre a great friend."  
  
"Helga…what?"  
  
"Just, remember that Pheobe. And give this to Arnold, will you?" Helga handed Pheobe a note.  
  
And with that, Helga walked off. Pheobe was so worried that she forgot to give Arnold the note until it was 8 o'clock. Pheobe had a feeling it was important, so she grabbed her coat and ran to Arnolds. He opened the door and looked at her, dripping wet, since it and started raining and clutching a soggy envelope.  
  
"Helga told me to give this to you."  
  
He took it without a word and opened it. The letter read;  
  
   
  
Dear Arnold,  
  
Im sorry I never told you this before. I just couldn't let my feelings out. Now that there's no chance of rejecting me, I'll tell you. I love you Arnold. I have for as long as I can remember. I couldn't tell you because you love Kristen. I heard you tell her at he movie that you love her. I cant blame you Arnold, for I know what its like to be in love. I only wish it could have been with me. I am also sorry for the pain I caused you in school and with the contents of this letter. I couldn't live like this anymore Arnold. Just remember Arnold,  
  
I love you and im sorry,  
  
Helga  
  
   
  
Arnold pushed past Pheobe and ran out into the rain. Pheobe followed him.  
  
"Arnold! Whats wrong!" he stopped to let her catch up.  
  
"Shes going to kill herself Pheobe if she hasn't already. Where would she go?" Pheobe recalled a conversaion she and Helga had had once about dying. Helga had said,  
  
"If I had a choice about where I died, I'd choose the bridge by the river. Its my favorite thinking spot."  
  
            "The bridge! Run!"  
  
   
  
They both sprinted to the bridge, just in time to see a lone figure jump into the swirling waters. Arnold jumped in. He felt around in the water but couldn't feel anything. He went up for air and saw her arm on top of the water a few yards away. He swam to the spot and grabbed her. He was limp and he struggled to keep both of them afloat. He finally reached the land and Pheobe helped him pull her up.  
  
"Helga! Oh God Helga please wake up," Arnold pleaded.  He leaned over her and put his mouth on hers to give her cpr. At the touch of his lips Helgas eyes fluttered open. He saw and said,  
  
"Helga." That was all he couls say, so he leaned down again and kissed her, a nice kiss, better than anyone that he had had with Kristen.  
  
"You read the letter?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
And she pulled him down again.  
  
   
  
A week later, it was the night of the prom. Arnold had asked Helga to the prom and she had accepted(duh!). Helga was wearing  a red shimmery dress and Arnold was wearing a black tux. Helga was having the time of her life. A new song came on and Helga listened to thelyrics, while putting her head on Arnolds shoulder.  
  
   
  
            She knows the fear in the eyes of a child  
  
He wants to soar through the air  
  
Shes only just beginning to rise  
  
Part of hims already there.  
  
   
  
"Helga?" Arnold whispered.  
  
   
  
She tried to capture the wind in a box To liven up her any day  
  
He's so afraid of what's waiting up top  
  
Its probably better that way.  
  
   
  
"Yeah?" She replied.  
  
   
  
Cause he wasn't so smart and  
  
She wasn't so strong  
  
But hey went through the motions  
  
As if they belonged  
  
Playing their parts in this traveling shoe  
  
And they haven't got to far to go  
  
   
  
"Why didn't you tell me before?"  
  
   
  
So he finds the enemy waiting inside  
  
Its hungry like never before  
  
She brushes off the temptation to hide  
  
Its easier just to ignore.  
  
   
  
"You are so dense."  
  
   
  
And then waltzing on glass  
  
That's no way to survive  
  
When you trip on the truth  
  
To fall back on the lies  
  
Happier times seem to balance the blows  
  
And they haven't got to far to go.  
  
   
  
"I love you Helga"  
  
   
  
1 No more tears today  
  
No more time to waste  
  
And when it comes to the end of the line  
  
Ill know its my time to shine.  
  
   
  
He kissed her, and that moment lasted for the rest of their lives.  
  
   
  
  


End file.
